Man in Tights

Ever since i started running in the chilly Michigan falls, winters, and springs (cold weather for essentially ten months out of the year), i've been looking for a decent outfit.  Two years ago i bought a few pairs of running pants.  But to be completely honest, two of them look like pajama bottoms and the third one is just too damn big and swishy.

For a year now i've been deliberating about whether i should just go and buy a pair of running tights.  It wasn't the expense that kept me away (i can say that at least this once) but rather the perception that running in skin-hugging Spandex would somehow render me emasculated.

Which is not to say that wearing tights necessarily makes one effeminate.  There are plenty of people who maintain their masculinity while wearing tights.

There are the Supermen - Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh:

Despite his own set of tights coming only in pink and black, Bret "The Hitman" Hart (also known as "The Excellence of Execution") always made them look good:

Then there's the ripped-to-the-bone John Wesley Shipp as The Flash:

And of course we should never forget the great cast of "Robin Hood: Men in Tights."  Let's face it, you've got to be a man to wear tights!




Which is not to say that i am comparing myself to these exemplars. My body is nowhere near the beefiness.  If anyone, i'd probably look more like Adam West.  I'm not saying that he doesn't have a hot body beneath that layer of fabric, but i'm just sayin':

At any rate, my main concern is function as opposed to form.  I must admit that the single layer of skin-tight fabric does do a pretty good job of keeping my legs warm down to the mid-teens.  So who cares how i look?  Although if you pretended to not know me if i ran by you on the sidewalk, i would totally understand.  At least i don't wear a full bodysuit; i do cover up with a pretty flamboyant jacket. Thank God for small favors, eh?

Obnoxious orange jacket?  Check.  Running tights?  Check.  Screw shoes?  Check.  Ear warmers, gloves, and warm socks?  Check, check, and check.  Dignity?  Errr...