Sourdough Chronicles: Loaf #6

Ingredients:

2 cups unbleached bread flour
25 twists of kosher salt
1 cup-ish of purified water at room temperature
3/4  cup of "fed" sourdough starter "Thomas"

Technique:

1.  At 3:00 PM: flour, water, salt, and starter were mixed together in a glass bowl.  Enough water (roughly 1 cup) was added to make the dough barely shaggy.  Set aside at room temperature.

2.  6:00 PM: the dough was folded in the bowl, once on each side. 

3.  6:30 AM: The dough was taken out of the glass bowl, placed on some floured parchment paper, and folded again, once on each side.  Set on the parchment, seam side down.

4.  8 AM: The dough was scored with an "x" on the surface.  Dough and parchment paper were placed into the Dutch oven preheated to 450 degrees.  Baked/steamed for 30 minutes with the lid on. 

5.  8:30 AM: The Dutch oven was uncovered, the bread was allowed to cook for 13 minutes, and then removed. 

Notes:

1.  Scoring the surface made it deflate a bit... maybe use a sharper knife the next time. 

2.  Decent sour flavor, mayhap from being allowed to ferment for essentially 15 hours.  I'll try for less time next time and see if i can still get the same flavor profile.  

3.  Not sure what the effect of using bread flour vs. all-purpose flour is. 

4.  I'll try to not fold 2-3 hours in the next time... to make it truly "no knead." 

VERDICT:  Decent.  I think this is the one. 

Sourdough Chronicles: Loaf #5

Ingredients:

2 cups unbleached flour
20 twists of kosher salt
1 cup-ish of purified water at room temperature
1/4  cup of "fed" sourdough starter "Thomas," + 1/2 cup of Thomas "discard"

Technique:

1.  At 7:30 PM: flour, water, and starter were mixed together in a glass bowl.  Enough water was added to make the dough barely shaggy.  Set aside at room temperature.

2.  9:30 PM: the dough wasn't as wet as i'm used to, but i kept the faith.  Folded a few times in the bowl, mainly to mix the wet parts with the dry.  Since i forgot to add salt in step 1, i added salt in between each fold.  

3.  6 AM: surprise!  The dough had risen, almost as if i had used actual yeast!  The dough was taken out of the glass bowl, placed on some floured parchment paper, and folded, once on each side. 

4.  8 AM: The dough and parchment paper were placed into the Dutch oven preheated to 450 degrees.  Baked/steamed for 30 minutes with the lid on. 

5.  8:30 AM: The Dutch oven was uncovered, the bread was allowed to cook for 13 minutes, and then removed. 

Significantly more volume than previous attempts.

Somewhat holey, but definitely less dense than before.

Notes:

1.  "Thomas" is a new starter to replace "Martha" (RIP).  He was generously shared with me by an old friend in southern California.  He seems more mature/robust than my previous starter, exhibiting significant rising after being fed.  It seems that my main problem was a "weak starter."  Consequently, this loaf was significantly "airier," almost like i used commercial yeast.  

"Thomas," doubling in size after being rehydrated and fed 3 times, 12 hours apart.

2.  Needs more salt.  I've already previously said that i need 25 twists... but i only did 20.  

3.  Barely sour.  Needs more time to ferment, perhaps?  

4.  Now that i've achieved (IMHO) optimal rise... time to make it pretty.  

VERDICT: Not bad.  Thanks, Marnie!  

Sourdough Chronicles: Loaf #4

Ingredients:

2 cups unbleached flour
20 twists of kosher salt
1 cup of purified water at room temperature
1 cup of "sourdough starter discard"
1/4 cup instant yeast (we found some!)

Technique:

1.  At 6 PM: Flour, 3/4 cup water, and sourdough starter were mixed together in a glass bowl.  Set aside at room temperature.

2.  10 PM: yeast was added to about 1/4 cup water, mixed in with the dough.

3.  6 AM: The dough was taken out of the glass bowl, placed on some floured parchment paper, and folded, once on each side. 

4.  7 AM: The dough and parchment paper were placed into the Dutch oven preheated to 450 degrees.  Baked/steamed for 30 minutes with the lid on. 

5.  730 AM: The Dutch oven was uncovered, the bread was allowed to cook for 14 minutes, and then removed. 

Notes: 

1.  Airer than loaf #3, probably due to the yeast, since the resting time was actually significantly less this time around.

2.  Not salty enough, but then again i used less salt.

3.  Decent sourdough flavor. 

VERDICT: Edible, and better than previous, probably due to the added yeast.  

Insight:

1. My starter isn't actually "mature" yet...  When i feed it, it bubbles but doesn't rise.  Needs more feedings.

2.  25 twists of salt seems to be the minimum.

3. Interestingly, right before i incorporated the yeast, the dough seemed to be the right "texture" - easily folded, not wet at all, similar in appearance to what they look like in youtube videos.

4. I think i may have found the proper proportion of ingredients, although i would prefer it to rise more.  So: more yeast, or more mature sourdough starter, or warmer water?  Also - next time, don't add any additional water (3/4 cup probably enough) when the yeast is added, so it's not as wet the next morning.

5. I'm told that it shouldn't be manipulated any more in the morning.  Hmmm.  

Chong/Fauci: Director's Cut

1

It was an honor and a privilege.  I didn't know the man, but I knew OF him.  He was an editor of the medical "Bible:" Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine.  He was also the point of the spear in America's battle against SARS-CoV-2 (the virus causing COVID-19, referred to colloquially as  "COVID").  It was the opportunity of a lifetime: I had been invited to interview the venerable Dr. Anthony Fauci. 

The circumstances were odd.  Our hospital had reached out to him to do a puff piece in our newsletter, and he had apparently responded immediately, asking for me by name.  Me, whose only claim to fame was... well, nothing.   I was a community doctor in a small city in California's central valley.  I had done my medical training in medium-sized community programs.  I had been published twice in a throwaway journal.  Otherwise, I had never accomplished anything noteworthy.

COVID and geography necessitated a virtual interview, so we set up a video call.  It would have to be late in the day, after all his meetings, briefings, etc. were done.  We would have very limited time, so I had to be in-and-out, lickety-split.

2

He came onto the screen.  The image was somewhat pixelated and there were occasional stutters in the audio, but overall I was confident that our 5G connection would hold.  We talked a little bit about running to break the ice.  His love of the sport was well-known, but I thought it was weird that he was familiar with mine. 

Pleasantries exchanged, I got to it.  I started talking about my experiences in the past few weeks, how many COVID patients I'd seen, the challenges we'd faced with mercurial treatment protocols, the staff's uneasiness with the limited supply of protective equipment.  I was sharing a particularly poignant episode about a healthy young patient I had to intubate and prone, when he motioned for me to stop.  He seemed genuinely confused.  "What are you talking about?  How can you be taking care of COVID patients when we just faked the whole thing?"

Um, Faked?  I had probably misheard. 

I began again, a little awkwardly.  To be honest, I DID have an ulterior motive, an "ask."  Many of the cases I'd taken of were deathly ill, and the $30,000 dollars distributed to hospitals just didn't cut it.  That amount was barely the tip of the iceberg, taking into account the prolonged ICU stays, ventilators, Rotoprone beds, drips, etc.  We needed more.  The bemused look never left his face.  He asked me why I was wasting money on all those treatments, when "COVID" isn't really fatal and can be cured with hydroxychloroquine and sunlight.  That money was simply a REWARD for supporting the deception, not actual reimbursement for services.

It was like we were having two separate conversations.  I mentioned some of the most recent peer-reviewed evidence for the treatment I was giving.  After a brief pause, he said: "Ah, I see.  You're actually one of those."

I was dumbstruck.  "Look," Dr. Fauci said.  "Let me get one of my friends on the call with us.  That will make it easier to explain."  He provided me with an email address and told me to send a link.  The combination of letters and numbers was inscrutable, and I asked him who it was.  He replied that it was a back-channel to Bill Gates.  Bill Gates!  This was getting better!  I typed it out and sent an invitation.  The response was immediate.  Mr. Gates (!) appeared on-screen, but the feed was fuzzy and immediately cut out.  I tried two more times with the same result, and finally just gave up.

I wondered aloud why the feed was so bad, since I had a decent 5G signal. At that point, Dr. Fauci started cracking up.  He laughed so hard that I had trouble making out what he said, but it was something to the effect of 5G being something "cooked up," and how it was just radiation to activate "nanobots."

The pieces of the puzzle started coming together and I began to comprehend what he had seemed to be implying all along.  Clearly, COVID wasn't what I thought it was. Was it really even a virus?  Nanotechnology?  Or was it 5G radiation?  There were too many elements to this.

He finally stopped laughing.  He wiped the tears from his eyes (he had laughed so hard that he was actually crying - was my naive belief about 5G THAT amusing?).  "THAT's the problem," he said in his Brooklyn accent.  "You're looking for one cause, a RATIONAL explanation.  It's NOT an either-or, neither-nor.

"It's all of the above."

3

What did he mean, "all of the above?"  COVID was... a virus, nanotechnology, AND 5G radiation?  That was utterly ridiculous.  It seemed like he was actually referencing the conspiracy theories that were all the rage.

I've followed those theories.  Hell, I've ARGUED ad nauseam with other people about them. Was he suggesting that they were true?  Doctors aren't really coding people hit by buses as COVID... are they?  We're not just faking the numbers to make a huge bonus... are we?  We're not putting people on ventilators just to harvest their organs... are we?  The Democrats didn't really collude with China to tank Trump's presidency... did they?  We - they -

He waved at me dismissively. "All of the above.  ALL OF THE ABOVE.  And more."

That made absolutely no sense.  How could anyone claim that it wasn't a legitimate disease?  I had seen the truth with my own eyes, discussed it with my colleagues in other hospitals, read the peer-reviewed sources.  I had hard, solid, bedrock facts.  I mean, what other sources of information SHOULD one believe?  Where else should one look to for truth?

Dr. Fauci blinked at me incredulously, as if to ask if I was really that naive.

"Why, YouTube videos of course."

Wait, what?

He explained: "Everything you ever learned about evidence-based medicine and the scientific method... That's all sponsored by me, Bill, Elon, and our friends in Big Pharma.  To make big money and control people by inoculating them with..." he made an air-quotes gesture, "vaccines."

So my whole professional life has been a lie?  I didn't understand.  I had spent all this time studying, devoting my life to the pursuit of science, and it was trumped by... YouTube videos?

He gave me a wry smile.  "Okay, okay, I'll admit, it's a little bit more than just YouTube."

Well, I could alt-right with the best of them.  So I rattled off sources i had perused for the latest in conspiracies.  Alex Jones.  Sean Hannity.  Glenn Beck.  Drs. Mikovits, Wakefield, and Ravi.  The Bakersfield Duo.  Giorgio Tsoukalos.  Gematria.  Facebook memes.  4chan.  Reddit.  QAnon.  I knew about Event 201.  I saw "Out of Shadows."  I knew about Charles Lieber.  I connected the dots between the NIH and Wuhan.  I even knew about the solar minimum.  But it was all just a mishmash of unrelated concepts, loosely tied together with fantastical connections that couldn't even maintain internal consistency.  Honestly - even with years of education and training - even if I wanted to believe, I just couldn't make sense of it.

He sighed, and his face took on a pitying look. He spoke slowly, as if to a child, as if revealing a great, universal truth to a drooling ignoramus:

"It doesn't require an advanced degree (although it helps to have a few when you're trying to convince other people).

"What it DOES REQUIRE is an ability to completely ignore facts and legitimate scientific analysis.  To look beyond the 'mainstream science' and accept the most fringe therapy as being the 'other side.'  To be able to connect seemingly disconnected events and people with no regard for logic.  A single-minded focus on getting to 'truth' even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

"Above all, the courage and conviction to argue your point on social media even after your arguments have been completely disproven."

But that was just crazy.  In fact, insisting on your point of view in spite of reality is the very definition of insanity.

He peered at me over his spectacles and revealed another profound truth:

"What the mainstream defines as schizophrenia, delusions, and magical thinking is actually more rational than 'sanity.'  That's the way to 'truth.'

"Following the scientific method, looking for peer-reviewed evidence, looking for more than just flimsy hearsay... THAT'S the real insanity."

I looked at him in stunned silence. He went on:

"I misjudged you.  I've followed you for some time.  I'm familiar with your background.  I thought you were more enlightened.  But, within minutes of talking to you, like I said, I realized that you're just one of THOSE."

One of THOSE?  You don't mean...?

Fauci leaned forward and said quietly, "Yes, JB.  You're one of them.  You're a sheep, and you're the one who's truly insane."

4

I'm the insane one?  A flash of anger.  All these COVID patients with pneumonia and ARDS, the desperate scrambling for treatment, the massive amount of time and resources spent keeping them alive, the failures, the deaths...

"Paid actors."

What?  But I had been side-by-side with the nurses, RTs, and the other doctors.  For God's sake, doctors I personally knew had died...

He waved me off.  "Paid actors.  Simulations."

My rage quickly deflated into despair.  My mind reeled.  Actors!  Simulations!  Smoke and mirrors!  All to create the illusion of a deadly pandemic.  How could that even be?  The resources and influence required to deceive billions of people...

The enormity of the deception bore down on me.

I asked him why they were doing this.  They were terrorizing people - for what?  To push their liberal agenda?  The Democrats colluded with China to create this terrible hoax, just so they can win in November and spread their baby-killing, gun-grabbing "values?"  This was too much.  Pelosi's evil knew no bounds.

He started laughing again.  Not as hysterically as the last time but enough to make him unintelligible.  He said a few things but the only word I could really make out was "simpleton."

After a minute or so, he calmed down.  "Liberal... AGENDA?" he chuckled.  "You think we're trying to move the world to the left?  You think we're trying to OUST Trump?"  He looked me in the eye.

"We made him."

5

They made... President Trump?

"We put him in power easily, and we can remove him just as easily. We don't need to go through a silly charade just to take him down.

"Liberal, conservative, left, right, blue, red... These extreme positions are completely unsustainable.  Nonviable.  See, if you tilt too much to one side, you fall.  The only way to keep upright is to stay in the middle...  Or keep so much weight on each side that they balance out the other, like a tightrope walker.

"It's us.  War and peace.  Republican and Democrat.  Fox and CNN.  We keep people on both sides arguing with each other so much that they never notice us.

"Those armed protestors in Michigan: who do they think they're intimidating with their AR-15s and threatening signs?  We control the world's mightiest military.  We make designer viruses.  We kill people with radio waves and make it look like suicide.  Their little armed militias don't intimidate us.  They didn't even come up with the idea to protest by themselves; WE pushed them out there with our Twitterbots."

He started laughing again.  "We've been around since Cain. We've seen everything. You can't intimidate us."

"Trump's..." air quotes, "mistakes? Us.

"Biden's..." more air quotes, "dementia? Also us."

He gained momentum.  "Sean Hannity AND Anderson Cooper.  The CCP in Hong Kong AND the mass protests.  The Philippines' extrajudicial killings AND the anti-administration sentiment.  Pro-life AND pro-choice.  Even Greta Thunberg and Naomi Seibt.  It's all us."

My head was spinning.  How could it all be them?  How could opposite sides be sponsored by the same entity?  And why?

He looked exasperated. "JB, I just told you something important, and you weren't even paying attention."

6

I had momentary insight, a fleeting a glimpse at the truth. The conspiracy theories were right!  Their mistake was that THEY DIDN'T GO DEEP ENOUGH.  They stopped when the theorists hit what they wanted to believe and stopped digging, ignoring the bigger conspiracy, the one to end all conspiracies.

Everything is controlled.  EVERYTHING.  Freedom of movement, freedom of assembly, freedom of speech, even freedom of THOUGHT...  It's all controlled.

Sneaky.  Diabolical.  Satanic.

Dr. Fauci started laughing again.  It was almost maniacal now.

"Satanic?  You think this is a simple good vs. evil, heaven vs. hell?

"We could spend hours discussing organized religion.  But ask yourself: why can't the different denominations in the same religion agree on even the most basic things?  The divisions are key."

Not Satanists.  Who were they, then?  The earlier reference to Cain tickled a memory.  Freemasons?  He raised an eyebrow.

Illuminati?  Rothschilds?  He rolled his eyes.

Skull and Bones?  Bilderbergs?  He snorted.

Grays?  An amused glint twinkled in his eyes.  Clearly, he thought I was a moron.

Barack Obama and the Reptilians?

At this, his eyes narrowed into slits.  He inhaled through his teeth, making a hissing noise.  "Careful," he began.  Our 5G (?) connection cut out for a moment.  When the sound came back, I only heard his last word: "Epstein."

He glared at me, and I realized that I had crossed some invisible line.

We looked at one another in silence.

It was getting late.  In the intensity of our conversation, I had forgotten to turn the lights on in my home office.  Pale moonlight streamed through the window and lent the back of my hand a ghostly appearance.

Dr. Fauci, it seemed, had done the same.  The room where he sat had become steadily darker throughout the conversation.  Moonlight danced off his face in bizarre patterns that looked almost like...  Scales.

Wordlessly, he ended our video call.  I was left in semi-darkness, completely silent, yet deafened by the noise in my own thoughts.

7

I was awakened by hunger pangs a little over an hour later.

(After my conversation with Dr. Fauci, I was mentally and physically drained and couldn't do anything but go straight to bed.  I had completely forgotten to eat dinner.)

I glanced at the clock.  There was still time to pick up some food.  I dialed the number to my favorite pizza parlor.

"Hello?"  A woman's voice on the other end.  Vaguely familiar, but not an employee (I had been using them so long that I already knew everyone who worked there).

"Hi JB," she said. "It's Hillary. Hillary Clinton. I understand you and Tony Fauci just had a conversation."

In that moment, the veil lifted and I saw the world for what it truly is.  Mental connections came together with a satisfying click and I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING.  In that singular point in time, everything finally made sense, my mind was freed, and I became blissfully and gloriously sane.

EPILOGUE

We're about three months since the illegal/immoral "shelter in place."  A few weeks since my fateful conversation with Dr. Anthony Fauci.  More fires have been lit in society.  Public executions.  Protests.  Riots.  Violence.  More distractions.

I see the world for what it truly is.  An illusion, a grand charade to pull the wool over everyone's eyes.  Over MY eyes.

It's The Truman Show, except in real life.  I see the way these actors look at me sideways and read their scripts on their "smartphones" when they think I'm not watching.

I understand what "COVID-19" really is, what the CCP-virus was created for.  Why they continue to spread fear and foment discord.  These "patients" aren't really dying, they're not even really sick.  This quarantine keeps no one safe but the pedophile oligarchy with their mind-controlling nanobots.  They staged the "reopening" and are planning the "second wave."  They're depopulating us for reasons that only they know, and only a precious few can even recognize.  But I continue to play the part of the Good Doctor and wear my Morgellon-infused mask, so nobody catches on that I've caught on.

I also understand that Fauci and Clinton were lying.  They ARE afraid.  Of people like me who understand.  Of an informed, unified, AR-15-armed militia.  Because we ARE the world's mightiest military.  I will continue to shun MSM with their fake "experts" and "science."  The truth is in Youtube.  And sometimes Twitter.  Everyone else will soon see as I do, as long as I keep reposting the right videos.

I will continue to follow true American ideals and reject foreign influences.  I will be a shining beacon of liberty.  Of purity.  Of Greatness.

covfefe

THE END

Sourdough Chronicles: Loaf #3

Ingredients:

2.5 cups unbleached flour
25 twists of kosher salt
1 cup of purified water at
1 cup of "sourdough starter discard"

Technique:

1.  At 1030 PM: All ingredients were mixed together in a glass bowl.  Of note: the starter was unfed.  The dough was reasonably shaggy.  Set aside, beside a sous-vide tank at 140 degrees Fahrenheit.

2.  930 AM: The dough was transferred to parchment paper and folded once on each side. 

3.  10 AM: The dough was refolded, once on each side. 

4.  1030 AM: The dough was placed in a bowl, attempting to use it as a "proofing bowl."  

5.  1115 AM: The dough was inverted and placed onto another piece of parchment paper, placed into the Dutch oven preheated to 450 degrees.  Baked/steamed for 30 minutes with the lid on. 

6.  1145 AM: The Dutch oven was uncovered, the bread was allowed to cook for 14 minutes, and then removed. 

Notes: 

1.  Although it had bubbles in it, the loaf was extremely flat and dense, reminding me of the texture/density of focaccia bread.  

VERDICT: Edible, seems worse than previous.  

For next time: 

1.  Feed the starter before incorporating into the dough. 

2.  Fold earlier?  

3.  Use warm water.

4.  Use an actual proofing bowl...?  

This is discouraging. 

Sourdough Chronicles: Loaf #2

The recipe was essentially unchanged from the previous one.  The only difference was the age of the starter.  Based on the Kitchn formula, it was "mature" enough, after 4 feedings.  I'm too much of a novice to independently verify that.  However, i CAN say that the starter immediately bubbles up after being fed with the 1:1 flour:water. 

Notes:

1. It smelled a bit like sourdough, but there was no significant amount of sour flavor.  I don't really mind, since my point to the starter is to homebrew a leavening - not a flavoring - agent. 

2. The air pockets seemed a little bigger this time around, which may be a consequence of the "mature" starter.  I'm still not satisfied with the way the lower half compresses. 

VERDICT: Still not good, but still edible. 

Next: Put it upside-down into the Dutch oven.

Sourdough Chronicles: Teenager-approved

Sourdough-Panko Zucchini Fries

Ingredients:

1 large zucchini

1 cup sourdough discard

2 (?) cups Panko breadcrumbs

Multiple twists of salt

Technique:

1. Cut zucchini open, scrape out seeds, slice into steak fries sized pieces.

2. Dunk zucchini slices into sourdough discard. 

3. Roll zucchini slices in Panko and salt mixture until coated.

4. Air-fry at 400 degrees for 7 minutes (parchment paper lining bottom). 

5. Serve while warm. 

I got lucky with this one, just pieced together a recipe from the internet. 

VERDICT: Adrian (while chewing his third piece): "It's very good."

Tomorrow, bread.

Sourdough Chronicles: It Begins

"Necessity is the mother of invention."

-Plato

Last Friday night - as i sometimes do - i mixed together some flour and salt to make a loaf of Saturday morning no-knead bread.  Unfortunately, when i rummaged around the back of the fridge, i realized that we were out of yeast.  The next day, we visited several grocery stores and realized (as many people had, months before), that EVERYBODY WAS OUT OF YEAST.   

I knew just from reading friends' recent Facebook posts that sourdough starter could serve as a suitable replacement for store-bought yeast.  I Googled some formulae and settled on one that seemed the easiest, from Kitchn.  Essentially: (4 oz flour + 4 oz water every 24 hours) x 4, keep at a constant temperature of 75-80 degrees.  

HOWEVER, i still had flour and salt sitting on the kitchen counter, waiting for some sort of leavening agent.  Last night, after 2 feedings, my starter already looked bubbly and smelled sour, so i decided to take the plunge and try to make no-knead bread with what i had.  

So, ingredients: 

3 cups unbleached flour

20 twists of kosher salt

Approximately 1 1/2 cups of purified water, room temperature, taken directly out of reverse osmosis tap  

1/2 cup of "sourdough starter discard"

Technique: 

1. At 9 PM: All ingredients were mixed together in a glass bowl.  The amount of water wasn't precise, i just added enough to make the dough "shaggy." 

2. At 6 AM: The "slightly risen" dough (this was disconcerting, i'm used to a more impressive rise overnight) was transferred to a lightly floured sheet of parchment paper, and folded once per side. 

3: At 630 AM: The dough looked a little flat, so i folded it again, once per side.  

4. At 715 AM: The parchment paper was lifted and plopped into the Dutch oven, which had been preheated to 450 degrees.  Baked/steamed for 30 minutes with the lid on.  

5. At 745 AM: The Dutch oven was uncovered. 

6. At 759 AM: The bread was removed from the Dutch oven, allowed to cool for 5 minutes, then eaten.  

Notes on the bread: 

1. It was a little flatter than i'm used to.  After cutting in half, i noted that the top had risen, and was "fluffy," while the bottom half was dense.  

2. The bottom was toasted, probably because of the density of the bottom half pushing down on it (?).

3. There was a slight sour taste, only noticeable if you thought about it.  

OVERALL VERDICT: Edible, but not good.  

Things to try: 

1. Use more "mature" starter.  Based on the Kitchn recipe, i needed two more feedings for it to mature completely. 

2. Dump the dough into the Dutch oven upside down, so the "risen" part gets pushed down a bit and the "flat" part gets a chance to rise - maybe this will lead to an overall fluffier loaf. 

3. Allow longer time for the dough to rise.  

4. Warm the water up in the microwave for about a minute before using. 

5. Add one early fold.

6. Change the proportion of ingredients: maybe just 2 1/2 cups of flour to 1/2 cup of starter. 

I'll bake another loaf after two feedings, we'll see what happens next. 

The Race that Never Was

This past March 1st, i did NOT run the Tokyo Marathon.  As with everything else, it was cancelled (at least for the general population).  This left a Japan-sized-and-shaped hole in my heart (and my wallet), which was only partially filled by Napa. 

At this point, they're saying that runners can choose to defer to either 2021 or 2022.  I will most likely select next year, once the deferral window opens.  Hopefully COVID will have blown over by then. 

Although i'm currently signed up for the TCS Amersterdam Marathon in October, i have significant doubts that it will push through.  I'll probably going to end up not even making arrangements, and just deferring to some future date once the deferral window opens.  If i get the opportunity to run another Abbott World Marathon Major next year, i'm going to do that instead. 

So i'm currently in limbo.  Fleet Feet has the "Running is Not Cancelled" virtual series that i'm thinking about signing up for.  Virtual racing is absolutely not the same.  On the upside, since the gym is closed, all my runs are done on the roads (thankfully, they haven't clamped down on outdoor exercise in our area), which i hope will reap dividends in terms of my strength and endurance.  Usually, the bulk of my training is done on the forgiving surface of the treadmill.  My Achilles can tell the difference, that's for sure.  Hopefully there's long-term benefits as well. 

4:34:38 (AKA It's Not Tokyo But It'll Do)

This past weekend, i was supposed to run the Tokyo Marathon.  Instead, i completed the Napa Valley Marathon in 4:34:38.

The cancellation of the Tokyo Marathon hurt... my soul, and especially my wallet.  But i understood why.  COVID-19, outbreak containment, etc, made sense to me.  So it rubbed salt in the wound when the virus made its way to California anyway, even before March 1st.  Meh.  In the end, i am nothing if not pragmatic, so i just rolled with it and found another marathon on the same date.

I have to say though - that aside from running it 5000 miles from where i originally intended - this marathon was everything i wanted it do be.  I had hit almost all my target mileage and paces in the 16 weeks leading up to the race, i had a good game plan, i was close to my goal BMI - overall, the best prepared i've been in ANY of my previous marathons (including my very first one a little over 9 years ago).  I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach (irrational) that i was going to disappoint myself the way i had in my last two races, but knew that there wasn't anything else to do but trust my training.

The much sought-after running photo where both feet are actually off the ground!

It seems that the trust was well-placed.  The run-walk-run method continues to reap benefits for me.  Previously, i would extend the running intervals on downhills or if i was feeling particularly good.  This time, i did not deviate from my 3:1 ratio at all.  On the running intervals i would do somewhere between a 9:00 and 9:30, then dial it down to a 17-ish for the walk.  I'm not sure i can run much faster and still be comfortable, so maybe i need to learn how to walk faster if i want to break 4:30.  Honestly though - around mile 16, i realized that i had an actual shot at breaking 4:30 if i hit an average pace of around 9:50-10:00.  That would have meant skipping some walk breaks, which could be disastrous.  Reminding myself that the goal was to stay injury-free, not hit some arbitrary time goal, i stuck with the game plan, did a negative split (!), and finished 20 minutes faster than Chicago - 16 minutes faster than CIM.

The tectonic shift that i did in preparation for this race was to almost completely eliminate the consumption of Gu during my training runs.  I used to go through one packet every 4 miles or 45 minutes (whichever was sooner).  Occasionally i'd get away with six miles, especially during "speedwork," but without fail i'd need a Gu at some point or else i would just bonk.  On a long run of 22 miles, i would go through five packets.  Well, i read on some rando site (Runners' World?  Reddit?  I forget) that one isn't supposed to eat during a long run.  Apparently, the WHOLE POINT of the long run is to train one's body to run on fat, not carbs.  So i cut out the Gu on the premise of teaching my body to run on different fuel, and worked my way up to 16 miles on just water before bonking.  Then, for the actual race, i consumed Gu the way i used to.  It was, in a word, amazing.  Each time i ingested the gel, i would feel stronger: a sensation of WOW, THIS IS GREAT! as opposed to THANK GOD I ATE SOMETHING OR ELSE I WOULD DIE.  In my last 5 marathons, non-running areas such as my shoulders and arms would cramp and go sore (mayhap glycogen was being cannibalized everywhere just to feed the legs), but for this run everything felt great all the way to the end.  So, for future reference: continue to subsist on minimal external fuel while training, but find the optimal ratio/timing for race day.  Perhaps every 3 miles (or 30 minutes) instead?   I'll try that out on a half.

Close to the finish - still going strong!

Hanging loose as i crossed the finish line.

Another thing i changed for this race - i changed my footwear from the Hoka Mach to the Nike Pegasus 36.  More on this in the future. 

In sum - i'm happy with the way this went. 

Race Notes:

1.  The expo was nothing to write home about.  We were in and out in about 15 minutes, including packet pick up and looking at exhibits/merchandise.  They gave out a decent backpack with the usual snacks, KT tape, etc.

2.  Temperatures, as usual for me, were perfect.  We started out in the mid 40s (warm enough to discard all my Goodwill clothes even before crossing the starting line) and ended up in the low 60s.  There was a moment at the start when it started to drizzle, but that quickly stopped and it was clear/sunny for the remainder.

3.  Bus rides from pickup points in Napa (where the finish line is) to Calistoga (where the race starts) are nice and convenient.  In addition, they let you stay in the warm bus until about a half hour before the gun goes off - ample time to hit a porta potty (i only spent about 15 minutes in line for one).   No food or water available for non-VIPs at the start... Good thing i had a full Camelbak and some bread to munch on.

The lines for the porta-potties.  Not bad.

4.  I am really beginning to prefer the smaller races.  There were only a little over 2000 marathon runners, which is a tiny fraction of the field for New York and Chicago.  I did not have to weave around other runners (despite there being only one self-seeded wave) and was somewhat able to run the tangents, which resulted in me running only a wee bit over 26.2.  On multiple occasions, i found myself running alone, which i honestly consider to be pleasant.  Unfortunately, since i DO want to finish the World Marathon Majors at some point, i guess i'll have to contend with a gigantic field at least 4 more times.

At the starting line.  I was about halfway into the crowd.

5.  The course, which runs south on the Silverado Trail, is GORGEOUS.  IMHO, almost as pretty as Big Sur, without the coastline.  Mountains on both sides, with one vineyard and winery after another.  Not many spectators, which is fine by me (one can only laugh at a sign that goes "You run better than the government" so many times).  While advertised as being net downhill, there were several rolling hills in the first two-thirds.  Nothing compared to Big Sur, but certainly not flat (at least not until the last 6 miles or so).  There was sufficient support on the course, with aid stations supplying water and electrolytes every two miles or so.  There were porta potties at every aid station, and the lines were never more than two deep.  People actually stopped using them around midway through the course, and i was lucky enough to waste very little time dashing into a line-less one at around mile 12. 

Nice, picturesque backdrop. 

6.  There wasn't really much of a post-race experience that i noticed.  There was the usual medal, water, and food.  The most important post-race experience to me is how to reconnect with family and get back to my hotel.  In this, the small field continued to be a Godsend.  Gianina and Adrian were waiting right at the finish line, and the car was parked just a couple of hundred feet away. 

7.  The race entry includes some free wine tastings with "partner" wineries.  Since i'm not a big drinker, i didn't avail of any.  Still, a nice perk for some. 

So that's it.  At this point, 7 marathons in, i think i've figured out a method that works.  Now, to grind.  I haven't quite decided on my next race yet, but i'm cautiously optimistic that things are looking up.

We just pretended to be in Tokyo by hitting a conveyor belt sushi buffet.